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Engrish Reviews
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saxifrage00
I’m looking for a portable music player that can handle Ogg files as well as the usual MP3 and WMA files. If I can, I’d also like it to support Replay Gain automatic gain-adjustment, because I have a lot of very loud and very quiet music files. But that’s not why I’m posting.

I took a look at Xiph.org‘s wiki page about players that support Oggs. Many are brands I haven’t ever heard of, and many of those are obviously asian companies. Just check out the ad copy for the iAudio G3:
Be with iAUDIO G3,
it’s your ultimate and best choice.
Stylish! Everlasting! MP3 Bilble
Now, you can enjoy your music for
2 weeks (4 hours per day) with one battery!
Listen to the real sound through iAUDIO G3
and feel the luxurious, refined white style of it.
Now, I understand the “everlasting” part, since the play-time seems to be a big selling point. However! What the hell do they think they’re conveying by calling it an “mp3 bible” of all things? (And why is it spelled “bilble”?) Maybe they’re trying to say it’s the definitive mp3 player, á la “Macintosh Bible” or something like that; I don’t know. The final note, the one that lingers with the prospective customer long after sampling the morsel that is the ad copy, is a perfect complement to the overall flavour: the “refined white style of it” is just the refined white sugar icing on the Engrish cake.

The rest of the site is just as entertaining. What, pray tell, is a “Clearness Carrying Case”? I can see how a “Useful FOLDER” would be, ah... useful, but how does this related to the navigation interface? Why might I wish to organise my playlist by “study files”?

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