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saxifrage00
I rarely get depressed, and when I do, it's rarely more than an existential funk that passes with a change of scenery or something sufficiently distracting. Often a "depression" is simply boredom extended through an entire day.

I think I'm in one of those existential funks. I feel adrift and out of touch with everything around me. It probably doesn't help that I've been vegging on the computer since I slid in this direction. Actually, it's probably a good half to blame, given past experience with the effects of vegging on my mood.

I would go for a walk... but I'm supposed to be here to meet someone soon. I do want to see them, but I also want to go for that walk because I know I'd feel better for it. I would feel worse for missing them, though, so I would net zero that way. If I could do both, that'd be good; drat! foiled by logistics, again.

Something about going for a walk in a random direction is refreshing. I think that by its nature, a random change of scenery like that breaks whatever rut I'm in, if only temporarily. A rut is the last place that is good for me when I'm feeling down. No, scratch that -- contracting further into solitude and withdrawing into myself and my rut, especially getting lethargic and retreating into the comfort of unnecessary sleep -- that's the worst thing I could do.

Which leaves me sitting here, typing into the ether. It's a decent way to sort out my thoughts, granted. I sense the temptation to slip into stream-of-consciousness writing, though, which is a good sign that I've gotten as much out of this exercise as will do me good.

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