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The Five Love Languages, revisited
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Most of the people who read this have heard of or read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. theferrett eloquently describes exactly why it's so important to understand the languages your love speaks, and to communicate to your love what languages you speak.

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Yeah. It's become part of my basic model for understanding intimate interaction. It just makes so much sense!

Um. Wow. Thanks. I don't read that guy regularly, but he said that so much better than I could have, so I'm glad you linked to it, love.

It seems like you and I figured out each others' languages fairly easily (probably because they're quite similar), but Hubby and I still have this trouble. In spades. I'm going to send him this link.

You're welcome, love. He's a really good writer, and often he has interesting (or at least controversial) insights to share.

What I found most interesting was the conflict between defining something as a "love language" and defining it as "needy." The line is very fine. I think that, the more conscious one is of one's own love language receptors, the better we can defuse dangerous messages sent on those channels. Being able to do that, effectively not needing those messages ALL the time, prevents it from sliding into neediness. I think.

I think you're right. We are pretty similar. :)

Need to borrow the book?

zargon and I each have our own copies now. You are welcome to intercept mine (http://bookcrossing.com/journal/1252456)
in its travels.

Re: Need to borrow the book?

You know, I haven't actually read the book. I understand its general premise and I agree with it, and I think that simple idea may be enough. I have heard that the book has a very Christian slant, and I'm not sure how much preachy bible-thumping I can handle :-( Still, it can't hurt for me to check it out, yes?

Re: Need to borrow the book?

Yeah, estrellada says she could probably do a 2 page precis which would cover all the main points pretty well - and one day she'll prolly get around to doing that - but if you don't mind sorting the wheat from the chaff, it might be worth a look. Estry has it now, AFAIK.

Still for those (such as me) who are not as intellectually acute, having the book to refer to is good for a reminder. Heck, I have a hard time remembering what the Love Languages are called, and there's only 5 of 'em.

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