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Badger in a Bottle
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saxifrage00
I like badgers, that's why.

Badger in a Bottle
(with apologies to The Police)
------------------

Just a mustelid, a weasel lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, no-one here but me, oh
My wolverine, any mink could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh

I'll send a mustelid to the world
I'll send a mustelid to the world
I hope that someone gets my...
I hope that someone gets my...
I hope that someone gets my...

Badger in a bottle, yeah
Badger in a bottle, yeah

A year has passed since I sent my stoat
I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Skunks can mend your life
But skunks can break your heart

(Chorus)

Badger in a bottle, yeah
Badger in a bottle, yeah
(Woah!) Badger in a bottle, yeah
Badger in a bottle, yeah

Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion badgers
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone in being a alone
A hundred billion mustelids
Looking for a home

(Chorus)

Badger in a bottle, yeah
Badger in a bottle, yeah
Badger in a bottle, woah-oh
Badger in a bottle, yeah

Sending out a mustelid
Sending out a mustelid
(outro repeats)

Any suggestions for revisions or improvements? I didn't manage to fit otters, martens, zorillas, polecats, grisons, fishers, or ferrets in there, despite trying.

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I would have been sad and disappointed if someone hadn't posted that most wonderful of links. Badgerbadger and Badger in a Bottle go together like minks and werewolves.

First of all, "I should known this right from the start" should be "I should've known this right from the start" or "I should have known right from the start."

Now as for fitting the beasties into the song, a la zee Ark.

Sending out a mustelid
Sending out a mustelid
(outro repeats until fade out) [yeah, I'm thinking a video, here]

(fade back in)
Badger in a bottle, yeah
Marten in a bottle, yeah
Otter in a bottle, woah-oh
Ferret in a bottle, yeah
Fisher in a bottle, oooh-yeah!
(continue until out of mustelids)

The visual accompaniment following the fade-in should be similar to the cartoon style of Prozak, with cartoon characters holding up bottles with the various mustelids, before dumping each into the sea. A grand finale might involve a rowdy gang of badgers grabbing the singer and stuffing *him* into a bottle before similarly dispatching him.

I like it!

Now if only any of us had the technical ability to do it.

I know it's silly to say, I know you tried to get as many in as you could, but genets are my very favorite animals...

http://www.wildlifesafari.info/spotted_genet_small.html

That is a really cool animal that I'd never heard of before. It appears that they're in the family Viverridae rather than Mustelidae, though...

I'll send a viverrid to the world
I'll send a viverrid to the world
I hope that someone gets my...
I hope that someone gets my...
I hope that someone gets my...

Genet in a bottle, yeah
Genet in a bottle, yeah!

I don't like them, they wet their dens.

It's the expurgated version- the one without the genet.

Indeed, it's downright otterous.

I noticed worldbuilding and worldmaking in your user info; those are great communities!

You, my dear, are SILLY!

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