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And my first anxiety dream in ages
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saxifrage00
Skip this if you’re unused to angst in my posts. I promise this week of whining and such is an anomaly.

So, a dream last night, commentary in parens.

It was a house much like my mom’s back in Mission in terms of layout, except it was darthmaus and her hubby’s house. I was resting in one of the smaller bedrooms at the end of the hall, kind of delirious, but I new I had to go for my last math final exam (cue anxiety) later that day. Looking at the clock, it didn’t make much sense (because, well, reading things in dreams doesn’t really work. It was a messed-up clock, too, with eight at the bottom) and I eventually sorted out that it said 7 o’clock in the evening, and oh-my-god my exam was scheduled from four until eight! So I know I can’t make it to school in less than half an hour and I’m trying to figure out if I can write the exam in half an hour if I jump up and hurry right damn now.

Of course, that doesn’t happen. Instead, darthmaus‘s mother shows up to visit, and I’m rushing about in only a sarong trying to get going. This thoroughly derails me as I try to hide, not wanting to out Maus as poly (despite the fact that her mom knows about me in real life), but I get drawn into chit-chat with her and her mom. Then her mom asks me if the tote bags she got for my parents this just-passed Christmas were liked and how did they like the surprise in the bottom of one? and I can’t remember what she’s talking about but have the sinking feeling that it was a present she had given to me to deliver to my parents. (Of course, it makes no sense that I would be afraid of outing my sweetie as poly to her mom even as her mom obviously knows about me enough to be buying present for my parents.)

End dream. I don’t normally have anxiety dreams, and I’ve never had an OMG-I’m-late-for-a-test dream (though I have actually woken up and gone OMG-I’m-late-for-a-test in real life—last term, in fact). This is way out of the norm for me. Not only that, but this was a dream that included school, poly-outness, and my Christmas-shopping anxiety all in one convenient, tormenting bundle. I woke at six and wanted to scream in frustration.

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P.S: My weird dream can't be excused with lovely weather because it rains here ;)

Yes, the blame belongs squarely on the atmospheric Cheetos. Curse their vapourous orangeness!

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