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saxifrage00
Rowan doesn't like to go to sleep and will cry piteously when we won't let him thrash around to keep himself awake. Singing to him makes him calm down, though I don't have the best voice or range. One of the few songs that are in my range is "Hush Little Baby", but when I first employed it I couldn't remember the words. That's okay though, I made do:
Hush little baby, don't say a word
Daddy's going buy* you a mocking bird

And if that mocking bird don't sing
Daddy's going to buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass
Daddy's going to buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke
Daddy's going to buy you a telescope

And if that telescope won't look
Daddy's going to buy you and int'resting book

And if that int'resting book won't read
Daddy's going to buy you a submarine

And if that submarine won't dive
Daddy's going to buy you a wicked ride

And if that wicked ride won't start
Daddy's going to buy you a set of lawn darts

And if that set of lawn darts won't maim
Daddy's going to buy you a new board game

And if that new board game kinda sucks
Daddy's going to buy you a flock of ducks

And if that flock of ducks...

...and that's where I run out of ideas. It went a bit off the rails, yeah. Got any ideas for stanzas to continue? I'm not particularly concerned about ever getting around to the last canonical stanza.

* I'm going to trust in his 8-month-old brain's inability to grasp the concept of shopping therapy for now. I'm not sure what I'll do when he's a bit older.

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Well, there could be the terribly offensive adult version, and the less-offensive but still demented kids' version.

(Maybe "a game of snooker"?)

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